Women…women…..women… Part 3 “She hate me”

{Writers note: This is my third entry in a blog series that will end only when I have nothing more to contribute. I don’t know when that will be…I mean I truly don’t…but I intend for it to be truthful…as truthful as I have ever known things to be in my own experiences. Names will be withheld in some case but they will not be replaced. That sort of bullshit screws of my writing flow.}

“Sometimes being a bitch is the only thing a woman has left to hold onto”  Delores Claiborne.

Always loved that line..it spoke to me..don’t ask me why. I love movies 🙂

There’s stages to every breakup and you gotta go through em. If it was a deep relationship, and you guys ended on rather shitty terms, then you both COULD walk away seeing the worst of each other. Sometimes an argument, other times just finding yourself alone noticing how quiet the place is after they’re gone

Now THAT is an AWFUL SOLITUDE.. Man I know about that shit. It comes from allowing people to leave as opposed to standing in front of the door.

But  exactly what do you do?

You’re torn between “not keeping someone who doesn’t want to be kept” and “I love you, please don’t go, we can work this out” You sorta feel that the person should KNOW what they have in you, and if they do and they are still willing to leave YOU then WHY exactly should you fight to keep them?

Why INDEED.   Message right there.

Sometimes you can even like someone so much, that they don’t like YOU anymore.

In my opinion you’re LUCKY if you get the argument, at least you’re angry enough to not care for an hour or two 🙂

Since these blog posts are my personal experiences jotted for all to see…I’m thinking of the women I’ve known or lost and the lessons I’ve learned along the way. Today I find myself thinking about BITCHES…the thing many women turn into after a messy break up. There was a time when I couldn’t understand WHY a woman would be that way…that’s no longer the case.
Let’s go back..

When the subject of bitches is on the table my daughter’s mother comes to mind…I mean she turned into full bitch mode once I broke up with her. For years she spoke nasty toward me (unless she needed some money or dick) and kept me from seeing my daughter any chance she got. In the end, all that “bitch shit” stopped and I even got custody of my daughter….

So what exactly was “bitch mode” for? In this case, it was vengeance.

Even when I would part ways amicably with a woman, I ran into bitch mode.  And when I thought that maybe the one who loved you the most would be the worst bitch later on…I was shown how wrong I was by another woman. So there’s no real rule for bitch mode.

My questions to myself were ” how do you do it?”  I mean unless someone did some terrible shit to you, “how do you hate someone you used to love?”  “How could you be so mean to someone IF you guys parted on cool terms?”

Is your anger over the break up itself or what was lost due to it? Some women I’ve seen hate that they ever loved a particular man in the first place. So when they break up they go full bitch mode.
Some women hate the fact that despite how cool a guy was to them, he just wasn’t that into him and that makes a woman feel like LESS… it really fucks with their self esteem…so she turns into a bitch toward him. Other women still love you, but they hate that you didn’t love them enough to stay despite their craziness…so instead of looking at themselves, they blame you, so you get bitch mode(but these women will still make love to you if you want to. Its actually pretty intense lovemaking as i recall 🙂

Very complicated beings are women. But men can be spiteful as well. VERY spiteful.

But the thing is, its all a stage…and you gotta go through it. But keep in mind that the guy you HATED may turn out to be a better friend than the enemy you made him out to be. And perhaps you two broke up because you didn’t know enough about each other in the first place.

And who knows? Maybe you guys will get back together because you’re both fucked up enough for each other and no one else 🙂 I’ve seen it happen.

Nowadays i no longer question a woman turning to bitch mode. I’ve settled into a reason i believe with all my heart. I believe the MAIN reason a woman turns into a bitch is because they let a man IN,  And it DIDN’T work out for whatever reason. You invest your heart, time and secrets INTO someone else and they seem to TAKE these things with them when they are gone. If I were a woman….and I REALLY think about this a LOT…how do you move on to another man after having shared passion and experiences with someone before?

I mean look, I’m a guy, a man is physically, chemically, designed to be able to have multiple women. But THAT doesn’t mean we don’t FEEL pain and loneliness.
A woman? all they seem to DO is feel emotion, so it has to be 100 times worse…so I just don’t know how y’all do it. Its NOT the same way we do it because a woman can’t just have men inside her and then leaving her. Every man inside of you TAKES something when he leaves.

You can’t get that shit back.

You THINK you can. ..But you CAN’T. Because every man is different, every experience with another man is unique whether its great or shitty.

I thought of these things…and completely understood WHY and HOW a woman can go into bitch mode.
Because women love hard. And if you cut a woman deep enough you  bring the WORST out of her…out of a human being.
Its a pain that no one has an instructional manual for. And a woman doesn’t know how to react , except by going ultra defensive.

Trippy shit.

Sooner or later, you forgive, or you DO move on and find someone else…or the same person from before….

But that bitch is always under the surface..waiting…..it may not be fair to the next man…but its a demon WE (both) gotta come to terms with.

T.F.

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