Writers note:This is my sixth entry in a blog series that will end only when I have nothing more to contribute. I don’t know when that will be…I mean I truly don’t…but I intend for it to be truthful…as truthful as I have ever known things to be in my own experiences. Names will be withheld in some case but they will not be replaced. That sort of bullshit screws of my writing flow.}
I run an adult group on facebook. We ask each other questions and members chime in with answers. One day I asked a question that I knew the answer to: how important is kissing to you?
Since my group is made up of mostly women, the answer was a resounding “VERY”
The men of the group, myself excluded…were more on the fence. They knew how important it was even though they themselves weren’t into it. So they did it for the woman.
As I said, exclude me from that way of thinking 🙂
Speaking personally, since that’s how I like to do, I love to kiss. However my kissing is not for everyone. Its deep, it’s passionate, I’m looking to entwine my tongue with yours. I love wet kisses too. Bottom line is I give tongue and I WANT tongue in return.
This is a stark contrast to the guy I was when I was a teenager. My first kiss, which I remember vividly, was with a young lady named Monique Badil. We were at my cousin’s party….an adolescent affair. Everyone there knew the latest dances and probably knew all about kissing.
I just chilled in a quiet corner. You know…NERDIN‘
Some girls are attracted to that though, and Monique was one of them. Now I knew Monique but I didn’t KNOW Monique. So I knew she was kinda “fast” but I didn’t know just how fast. So we talk and of course…I talk SHIT (ahhh to be young and stupid again 🙂 anyway, the shit I was talking was so good, that she called me out on it.
“Let’s go to the school yard up the block, I wanna kiss you. You got nice lips”.
She smiled and it was such a cool smile…I remember that smile because I wanted to shit on myself so badly….but her smile made my asshole clench up to keep from embarrassing myself.
With no other option, we walked outside on a cold night…to the school yard. I felt like I was going to the electric chair. I mean I had NO FUCKING CLUE how to kiss a girl. We got to the school yard and she leaned up against the wall…
I’m thinking “God….it’s….so fucking dark in this schoolyard at night” (yeah…I know…shut up)
She says “come over here….you standing too far away”
(yeah chick, there’s a reason, don’t wanna end up tonguing your TEETH.)
So she suddenly grabs me and INVADES my mouth. (lil’ dramatic son.)
I Hated my first kiss.
I tried to counter her tongue with mine and we ended up tongue fighting inside each others mouths. In my head, I was appalled.
I said to myself “kissing is nasty. This looked a LOT better on “HAPPY DAYS” You know, when everyone would be in the same car “necking” as they called it in the 60’s”? Yes folks, that’s how bad my first kiss was, I was thinking about a TV show. I wanted to be anyplace else but there.
Moments later, she pulled away from me…now THIS will shock the shit outah you.
She says : “Wow! You made me feel like an amateur!”
Before I could pull away, she invaded my mouth again….so I fought tongues with her again. I mean I was trying to figure out what I was trying to do the entire time. Eventually we walked back to my cousin’s party and she was around me all night. Stuck to me. I took her number and when I left, I saw her looking through the glass as I was leaving!
Talk about sprung 🙂
NEVER one to bullshit….especially myself, I knew I had not mastered the kiss. I knew I was shitty, I just got lucky. But I had a problem: you can’t read about kissing, you have to DO it…and I had no girlfriend….or girls as friends…or girls who even wanted to BE my friend (You know…this is pretty pathetic. Amazing how I’m not gay. But this was also the reason I had a lot of fights. I was sexually repressed)
But eventually I did run into a young woman who really schooled me. Her name was Rashida. She was the first woman I had ever dealt with that was the same sign I was… a Libra. (I was into astrology at the time. I was sort of trying to find out who I was since I felt so different and everyone made fun of me so much….again, MUCHO fights)
She was a peculiar looking person…but so was I 🙂 she was kinda spacey too….
Rashida: “When we make love..the mountains will move because we will complete each other”
Side note : It mustah’ been mountains made outah SHIT because I didn’t feel anything special when we finally did have sex that one time. She had her period too so it wasn’t very memorable because it didn’t last long.
BUT!!! She was a patient and caring person and her kisses were the same. They started out smooth….nice….then our tongues would get into a nice rhythm and the head movement would follow….followed with deeper and stronger tongue movement…this woman made me fall in love with her kiss alone. Of course, I got open off this chick, I mean that’s how I was 🙂 always wearing my heart on my sleeve. Long story short, I took a trip to the Bronx to see her and she couldn’t hang for long. Then some time later she told me that she was still in love with her baby’s father. I don’t remember how I took that news…seriously I don’t…but since I bear her no ill will to this day, I must not have taken it too badly.
I refined my kissing technique through the years. Learning that some women like short quick tongue flicks( white chicks and preppy black chicks) while other women like deep kissing. I’ve heard that my kiss is something to get used to because its deep. But it’s just an extension of who I am. I’m kinda MEAN, I give emotion, passion…strength….I mean, I’m a man. How am I supposed to kiss? Look, if I was a bit more feminine, then I could kiss like prince did in “Purple Rain”. I mean I won’t front, those were sexy kisses….but I’M not a hairy little musical genius SO, I have to stay in my lane. And more importantly, I need someone who wants to ride with me in that lane. So with that said, the women who have enjoyed my kiss tend to be some straight forward women. No bullshit types..”Let’s GO”.
Here’s some man education for you women: You can tell a lot about a man sexually from his kiss, but I mean DURING sex.
See, if a man kisses you before sex, you know, foreplay, that’s normal, classic shit. I mean that’s the shit you’re taught as a man. You learn that to get a chick ready, you kiss her. HOWEVER most men stop kissing a woman once their dick is in. THAT’S a telling sign. REALLY telling. See if a guy doesn’t take the time to kiss you deeply during sex, then your pussy is all that’s on his mind during sex. Don’t get me wrong, pussy can be awesome, but it can NEVER be all about the pussy in or out of the bed. If he is into YOU, you will get a lot of attention with kisses and touch. You will feel like a piece of candy because you’re getting kissed on so much. Now there are men who REALLY love women and they will do that to every woman they sleep with…but hey, that’s not a terrible thing….just be glad he is sexing you right now 🙂
Think of your sexual encounters ladies…
You were kissed…perhaps passionately. You know, to get you wet…a little bit of finger action to make sure you were wet…then dick insertion. NOW…how much deep kissing happened DURING the sex? If you got a LITTLE…you’re lucky. Most women don’t get ANY. Because his dick is in….this is what he is concentrating on…your pussy. And to the next position and the next position, until both y’all cum or one of you….whatever. Now you may get a kiss or two afterward and that’s cool. But were they quick pecks? Was a deep LONG kiss?
Think about it. Actions, even the slightest ones can speak loudly. In life, not every action means something, but during an intimate moment, where two people should be connecting physically, then little actions mean quite a bit. A slight touch can give you goose pimples just as a pull of the hair or a slap can make your pussy tense up 🙂
See if you’re fucking….then fuck. Do you. That shit is primal anyway. No room for emotions. But if you’re with someone you feel is a potential boyfriend, then a telling sign is how and what he gives attention to in the bed. Was he all over you? Did he move fast or slow? Did he explore your body during strokes? Did he kiss you deeply during strokes? I mean I may not have the biggest dick on the planet but I have enough meat to Multi-task.
That’s the difference between a LOVER and a FUCKER: a FUCKER does what he needs to get you wet so he can get to the pussy and if that’s what you need or want at the time, then FINE. But IF and WHEN you want to upgrade from fucking, then there’s a LOVER and being with a lover is like the foreplay never really ends and as an added bonus: LOVERS know how to fuck too, its just another gear. Yet, teaching a FUCKER how to make LOVE? TOUGH. its a real mental challenge for them.. perhaps it has something to do with the fact that most fuckers dont really care for the person they have sex with, they just want some pussy. So actually caring about the person you are is hard for them to express physically with deep kisses and touches that mean something. But that’s just an educated guess.. I’m a LOVER..so i wouldn’t know…but i do know some Fuckers though! They DO talk…quite disrespectfully about the women they were with I might add. if only you ladies knew…SMH
I came to learn all of this…just from the way Rashida kissed me. Since the first terrible kiss, I NEEDED to see that kissing could be beautiful and once I was shown that it could be, I figured why not everything else? Rashida was VERY influential to me.
I’ve told any woman who has ever asked me, that I enjoy foreplay better than sex. Foreplay is sexual with the added bonus of physical exploration. You can’t get that by fucking. You can get off….but you’re missing out on really getting to know the person you’re with. The right kiss can just set off so MUCH.
Women know the importance of a kiss, most men; just know its importance in getting to some pussy, its sad state of affairs but it’s not hopeless. Good kissing can be taught and patience can be taught as well. If you’re with someone who you think is worth it, then teach them…that’s what happened with me. I think that as long as we are social we meet people who are compatible with us in certain ways and we learn important things about ourselves by being with them.
Rashida taught me how to kiss and not much else….
But it made all the difference in the world once I took the ball and ran with it.
I wonder if she still kisses the same?