However… do you WANT it…or….however do you NEED it?

Listening to “Inside my love”
Minni Ripperton sang the original (quite well I might add. No one other than Mariah Carey can hit that high C) but this version from the “love jones” soundtrack sung by Trina Brussard is DAMN good. I aint ashamed to admit I teared up a lil bit  on this one. But when I feel a singer putting her heart into a song, I get connected.

Well enough of this pussy-pussy talk…time to MAN UP 🙂 HOW BOUT THOSE GIANTS?? Ahhh who am i kidding? I hate football.

🙂

So…what do you WANT? That’s the question…Wants and needs…two different things. Wants are usually superficial things, or extra shit you’d like to have, whereas needs are things you cannot do without. Now i could give examples of each…attempting a boring juxtaposition of “wants vs needs” or i could make things more entertaining by writing a chronological lesson of “Wants Vs Needs” loosely based on my own life.. since MOST people laugh at my misery, im sure a few of you will chuckle along..i HOPE i get my point across as I frown and type…

As we live and breathe, we learn our wants and needs.

At FIRST, our wants  and needs are pretty rudimentary…you know, food and water, attention from a loved one and a roof over our heads….and entertainment of some form…a toy. Something to play with.
We are children at this stage yes? Stay with me now…

We grow older, we become adolescents and as social interaction becomes more important, our wants change. We want less attention from a loved one and more from our peers, we want better clothes, we drink LESS water  and MORE juices composed of high fructose syrups 🙂 We still want food so we eat a lot of fast food and our parents cooking. We have a roof over our heads, but the house we grew up in…our rooms in particular, become too small…we long to have our own. We also start to talk a little looser with our parents (some of us get punched in the mouth so hard they black out and cant remember third grade anymore….dont laugh…the shit happened) the point is we are coming into our own identities and we let our parents know in no uncertain ways that this house isnt big enough for our growing, yet still adolescent..egos…

We become adults, let’s say the age of 18. (HAW,HAW,HAW:)
We may or may not lose our virginity and learn things about what we want physically from someone. However, our sexual wants are not very refined at this stage. We know we like to be held, we like to be kissed and we like our sex to be for lack of a better word…”COOL”. We also want to hang out..a LOT. We don’t want to eat too much, only because we are busy having so much fun just being an “adult” We still live with our parents but we are totally getting the fuck out of there as soon as we get a job. And we want to believe that we won’t be like our parents who NEVER, EVER pay their bills on time!!!!  I mean what LOSERS! We also want to establish credit. Because we NEED credit cards.
We drink soda or snapples, pizza beats our mothers cooking….we are always on the go… we WANT to move..but in hindsight, we NEEDED to exercise some patience.

Fast forward to the age of 25.
We have our own place, but we know that one day we want a bigger one, like we’ve seen in the magazines or maybe we have been to someone else house that was so spacious. We also noticed how happy the two older people who owned the house were. They argued at times but it was funny. They have each other, and you tell yourself that this is what you want your marriage to be like….one day..no time soon though. Food? You want burgers and fries. Fuck it, you’re young and you only live once. You have a job, but you aren’t really into it. What you WANT to do is going to take some time for you to save up for. (Insert dream job or project here) sexually? You have been with more partners and out of those partners, there’s at least one who you like to fuck above all the others, because they do it like no one else you’ve ever had. Honestly, that person has shown you some freaky shit that you didn’t even know you liked.  One of your sex partners, a nice chick, asked you how you feel about kids…you said “fuck that. I don’t have the time and I’m not ready. I like my freedom”

Fast forward to 33 to 35
You are PROBABLY still at the same job you didn’t like. Its going to take a while longer…much longer than you thought, to save up the  money to do what you really want to do. (Insert the NEW dream that replaced the old one here. I personally suggest “rodeo clown” because THAT is a funny fucking job. I mean it even SOUNDS funny!)  BUT you’re no longer in the same apartment, the new apartment is larger and the rent is kicking your ass, but as I said…the place is larger. I mean you NEEDED a larger place right? Your friends are impressed and their approval matters.  Your credit isn’t as good as it once was because you sorta stretched yourself thin to get furniture for the new apartment.
OH, AND you’re late with YOUR fucking bills too. Unbeknown to you, every month your parent have a glass of wine and giggle their asses off.

That line you said “I’m gonna pay my bills on time!!!” is STILL funny decades later.

Your sex life is healthy ,but you’ve narrowed it down a LOT.  There’s still that person who blew your mind sexually but there’s also this other person who is really cool. You’re torn, because you know the woman you want and yet the woman you need just doesn’t blow your mind sexually. And you NEED to have your mind blown sexually. What sorta bugs you is that you’re not very safe when it comes to the freaky chick. I mean you’ve known her for years but you know that she isn’t just fucking you alone. Plus you’re all of a sudden….thinking about kids…and she probably wouldn’t be an ideal mother, but the nice chick seems like she would be. You brushed her off when she asked about children years ago, you didnt WANT children THEN…
Food? Your tastes have been refined due to years of being in different social circles. You’re down for some Thai, Indian or fine cuisine. You would rather wash a steak down with some good wine rather than water, but if its water, it had better be filtered. Because tap water…well its fucking tap water.

I will stop now… My point is made. If you cant see it, then explanations follow: What we want and need? Changes with the seasons and even THE MOMENT. That is my personal beef with people who think they know what they TRULY want in LIFE. Seriously? In the entirety of life you KNOW what you want? Riiiiiight. You wanna be a millionaire until you learn about millionaire taxes. But you were so sure though…

The truth is we know what we want for NOW, but we don’t know what we want for the future. But how could we? We haven’t experienced it yet. We have yet to find out what we like or don’t like in ALL aspects…and the truth is, we may never know.

No one on earth has had a full life of knowing and experiencing EVERYTHING. And most of us spend so much time working and paying bills and parenting..I mean how much vacation have YOU had? Traveling? A nice restaurant?..how much have you ENJOYED life to know what you want and what makes you truly smile FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?

Another truth is that as human beings, we are NEVER content. And anyone who IS, is either too old to do anything about it or they are young and lazy. Complacency is NOT good. It just means you’re fine, but its just a MOMENT that you’re fine and life is comprised of many moments until the day we become dust.

If you know what you want or need, then by all means, go for it. You need to MOVE toward what you want and not wait /be complacent, and think it will come to you (don’t look for love though, that’s an exception to the rule) but just know that by life’s design, your WANTS will change, and for the most part, your NEEDS, the things you need to survive, probably won’t. As stated, people you meet, and sometimes people you have intimate contact with show you what you feel you want or  need from someone else in this life… and yet relationships can break up and married couples get divorced…wants, needs, life changes…its a reflection of who YOU are…at that moment 🙂

And as we get older, our wants become more practical in every aspect..we no longer need a bigger apartment, the newest car or a huge house.

In the end, A house will do, so will a car that’s dependable, or an apartment that you can afford, that doesn’t break you every month.

Sexually, we no longer need a sex partner who gives us a wild time every time we fuck, we rather have a person who makes love to us, and is willing to try new things (well, not new to YOU, just some of the freaky shit you did back in the day with the wild sex partner…shhhhhhh!!) OR…just a good friend who give you company…

Those “needs” were never truly needs at all.

It is true what they say..life comes full circle. Recall what we needed in the beginning: food,water, a roof over our heads, a form of entertainment and attention from a loved one….OH..And a good nights sleep!! Shit its 12 am..my heads gonna be hurting tomorrow 😦 going to NEED an aspirin.

T.F.

2 responses to “However… do you WANT it…or….however do you NEED it?

  1. I love this, as expected. I often struggle with this very concept. I feel like I’m too old not to know what I want in life, and too young to understand what I truly need. It’s a learning process, but it’s been a fun ride so far. Reading this kinda makes me feel that i’m right where I need to be. 🙂

    • damn, i had this NICE reply all written and now it got erased. so pissed right now. all i will say now is thank you so much for the reply and compliment babe, its always appreciated and i hope youre in a better mood. been checking your fb posts 🙂

      so fuckin pissed right now about my reply erasing.

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