“Unique Some Body”

 

My EYES? Singular, unique to me, so I can only assess my own version of reality.

My actions, my OWN, so you can push, pull, FORCE…but I in ANY situation, it is I who CHOSES to move. Again, regardless of the circumstance. Over-stand this.

My VOICE? DEEP…are the words…INSPIRATIONAL is the measure of diction. The WEAK are given strength, the IGNORANT are educated just a little more….the STRONG are assured that they are NOT alone.

If my voice and my words are my legacy, Do NOT edit ME. LET THE WORDS BE SAID.

My HEART…beats…to its own rhythm. It scares me at times. Just when I am used to it, it switches…from slow to fast….fast to slow….my heart….my love…it TOUCHES me, it TEASES me….my heart….I LOVE. (N & M)

My HANDS….are fast, fast to touch, to take….always willing and able to get some dirt in their nails. Unlike many, when I wash MY hands, they look clean to me. My hands have no blood on them…my hands have never begged…my hands owe no one any money or payment of any kind….my hands are unshackled…they are free. When I touch, others feel me….when I pray….clasping my hands together….I feel MYSELF. I Hum to my energy….I feel my pulse….the movement and energy of my own blood. When I touch myself, I feel life…and thus I thank god for another day.

My EARS…oh god…I miss how they used to hear so much…now they hear even less. I’ve abused them by listening to so much NOISE throughout the years. Now I am more selective, instead of noise, I listen to what moves me to another level of thought…no longer do I listen to what simply gets me to the next moment. Suffice to say, I used to hear, I used to listen…now I become ONE with the energy of sound that bathes me.

Now I become one with things higher than myself.

My hearing is refined…and so too is my understanding.

My FEET look good, considering the miles I’ve put on them. A blessing no doubt. I’ve always been one to walk instead of run. The best way to learn where you are is by walking….driving is too fast…walking allows me to feel the ground under my feet.

To the heat of beaches, the pavement of the city….even the paths of sorrow and despair…my feet move. God thank you for my feet.

My BODY as a whole, is not what it was, I heal slower, there are more aches and pains….the infirmities we are cursed with since spitting in the face of god. These same pains allow me to appreciate the pleasure of relaxation. So I relax whenever possible. I love my body, I have taken care of it and gambled with it on many a day…used it to attract and pleasure many a woman….used it to complete many a task…used it to whip many an ass.

What can I say? I’m a natural.

Born to be a unique somebody.

In a world of uniformity, I pride myself on being an anomaly.

A unique somebody.

T.F.

Mental Freestylin’… “It is what it is..but not what it could be”

To study the mistakes of history means your moves will be smarter presently.
In order to see the FUTURE, one must observe the present

a spirited opponent will have many moves designed to win, where as an opponent lacking spirit will have a limited move set….
a limited IMAGINATION.
… Dreams and nightmares, 2 sides of the same sleeping mind.
as I watch, i see that the majority of people dream of things base…ORDINARY.
Money, safety, stability..
MONEY goes from hand to hand….
there is no such thing as SAFETY unless you cannot be touched…
and there is no true STABILITY on a planet that revolves daily upon its axis.

Where are the fantastic dreamers? where are MY people? Who among us dreams of the FANTASTIC? who sees that the nightmare is this MUNDANE world we have built for ourselves? a world full of such promise from man and deprived of promise by the very same

I am left to observe SQUARES because I do not fit…I am well ROUNDED you see.
I observe weaker people because i am stronger than they are at any given moment. Theirs is Weakness I simply cannot relate to. Although my maturity allows me to understand and sympathize with it.

Observe the present and one begins to see the future take shape…
which is unfortunate since the future is a MUTABLE thing…
A moment among MANY moments..
Understand I should not be able to EVER see the future. Every person “blessed” with prophecy will tell you that it is anything but a blessing.

I am afraid I know the feeling.

I will end this abruptly because there is nothing left but…….HOPE.

T.F.

My unique thoughts of 9/11/2001…I’m sure you have your own..

They say everyone has a story for 9/11, I mean I guess I have some, but I rather give it to you this way, in a multitude of reflections, only because there was so much…..

I remember the day like it was yesterday, but since I wasn’t far from the site of the attacks, that sort of makes sense. If you happened to be around Rector street, which is where I was (just taking a stroll to be honest. I was going to visit my old job) you got the full impact of everything. Now I wasn’t there when the planes crashed initially. I actually came after the fact, just to see the damage. It was my friend at my old job that called me frantically, telling me that there were bits of body parts in the street. He took pictures of the charred remains…they just looked like meat. Now, Rector street is on the corner of the world trade center and Battery park city (a complex of high-priced apartments) are across the street. The remains of passengers reached Rector street AND battery park city. YEARS later when I was working on an underground cable at Battery Park City, we had to stop work because of human remains.

My friend, the one who called me, I remember him telling me that ANOTHER plane crashed and he asked me what he should do, because he was alone in the store that day. I told him to “get the fuck out of there. One plane is a terrible mistake, 2 planes are an attack” I said exactly that. As for WHY I said it…I just thought about Pearl Harbor, and how it just seemed eerily similar…but I didn’t know about the passengers on the plane.

And THAT separated it from Pearl Harbor right there….

I think about the people jumping to their deaths, and those who tried to climb down the walls of the world trade center, I think of how months before that day, I used to wonder if a man could climb those walls. I only thought about this because there’s this French dude who climbs the tallest buildings he can and he does it free hand, not ropes.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alain_Robert

Usually he is arrested the moment he reaches the top 🙂 but I wondered one day if he could climb those walls, because you just had no hand-holds on that building…

I think about how many people were in that building…before that day, me and the boys would hang around the world trade at lunch time, have some food and watch the fine ass ladies come out that building by the TONS 🙂 I remember telling the guys how I couldn’t afford to date those chicks making the 12 bux and hour I was making at my old job. I also thought how I couldn’t even afford the expensive restaurant inside the world trade..i think it was called “windows of the world”… not sure though..

I remember the first attempt to bomb the building, it was a UPS truck with a bomb, but it couldn’t do the job and I REMEMBER telling somebody that there would be another attempt, because unless you catch the people responsible, they will try again. Simply because a determined man does not know how to swallow failure…

Imagine, a human being, exploding in front of you…That’s what some people witnessed.  These people were falling from two of the tallest buildings in the world. I think to myself….what does that even sound like? How in the FUCK do you see that and DEAL? I guess I would have to ask someone from Vietnam…I mean that’s the only person I can think of who could relate..

I remember days after the attack..maybe 2 days later, when the dust…ah man…that crazy dust was in the air..making EVERYTHING just so eerily peaceful. I mean if you knew about the area like I did, it was ALWAYS live. Busy, busy , busy…between the world trade center and Wall street, it was like another Times Square at lunch time.

But not after the attack. I wanted to see the damage for myself, so that day, I braved the chemicals that I knew were in the air, and I walked over to ground zero. You could only get so close, unless you knew somebody. Turns out the military security policeman was someone I knew from my stint in Japan 🙂  and wouldn’t you know it, I got past the cordon and saw the crater.

It was an AWESOME and POWERFUL crater to see. I mean fuck the cleaned up hole you see now, that aint SHIT. That’s just a clean toilet. You had to see the crater to appreciate how awesome those two buildings were….The crater looked like some sort of creature made it…or it was the hole to hell itself..It was the only time during the entire 9/11 occurrence when I exclaimed “my god”..There is not a single camera phone, or camera or video that can show you the immensity and power of that crater. You had to have been there to see it.

I think about the lies….There are many, especially if you want to come up with conspiracy theories. But I like to dwell on the real. And the lie on the top of my list was the government telling people that the air was SAFE. You would have to have been an IDIOT to believe that. I mean if you know ANYTHING about basic building materials, then you would know that any of that stuff is dangerous if it gets in your lungs. But here we were talking about pulverized glass, crystallized fiber glass, carcinogenic smoke MIXED with other known carcinogens, I mean there was still parts of a PLANE in there, the jet fuel alone was dangerous…like I said, you’d have to be an idiot to believe that the air was safe.

BUT you’d have to be a fucking piece of SHIT to LIE  about the air being safe. You would have to be a spineless, worthless, PIECE OF SHIT to declare the air was safe  KNOWING that it wasnt. And years later, I think of how many more people of the general populace would have had life changing respiratory problems if it wasn’t for the fact that fear kept them away from ground zero. years later  the Zadroga act was passed, giving limited health benefits to 9/11 responders, but its too little too late for those who have passed away. bureaucracy before human compassion.

The heroes of 9/11 are simply every fireman and cop who risked their lives..But if there are ANGELS, then they are those who were at ground zero, selflessly lending a hand, helping to gather the remains of those who were killed…even though MOST of them knew that they were going to die. Those people, and they were diverse…those were just ANGELS to me. just God’s best and brightest. And no, I wouldn’t have done it unless I was guaranteed safety. but im no angel 🙂

I remember the sudden patriotism of the country and I observed in my lifetime how nothing galvanized a society like a war…its almost like fucking up an anthill. NOW the ants are pissed and they want to sting you, they don’t even give a fuck about dying..they just want to sting you for fucking up their anthill 🙂 The patriotism turned into anger at one point, Muslims were being attacked here.

I remember  hours later after 9/11 , I went to the small store where I got my breakfast from. The owners were from Yemen and Islamic, I came to the store with four very angry guys and he was TERRIFIED. He looked as though we were going to rip him apart. I mean seriously, he looked just like that. His eyes were open and glazed, as if he was begging us not to kill him. I told him, that its going to be alright, stay calm, the guys here wont do anything to you. He just gave me a very nervous “okay” You have to understand, in HIS country, if the roles were reverse and HE was American, they would have torched his store….and tore him apart. In retrospect, I should have INSISTED on a free sandwich and candy bar. I always thought the candy bars were priced too high..but im not a bully  🙂

My Brooklyn people will remember this…Earlier I spoke about Battery Park city. Well they were always a bunch of arrogant folks who wouldn’t associate with common folk like me…until 9/11. The general feeling was that these attacks could happen again, now that the terrorist see how sensitive a target Manhattan is…Well, the snobs of battery park and most Manhattanites felt that the  black people of Brooklyn weren’t so scary anymore and THAT my friends, is when Brooklyn/bed stuy got the sudden influx of white people. BEFORE 9/11, Brooklyn was off-limits to most Manhattanites and well to do folk. I mean, Brooklyn was just not cool, it was dangerous, it was ghetto (unless of course it was the Brooklyn height area) besides, Brooklyn had no night life. our clubs were black and Latino, not white.  so Manhattanites had no reason to come to Brooklyn even to party. AFTER 9/11, the exorbitant rents of Manhattan…1800 for a one bedroom apartment…came right to Brooklyn. Many whites were priced in and many blacks were priced out. The greedy landlords were doing everything they could to price out elderly people, section 8 people or anyone else that wouldn’t be willing to pay this new rent. Fast forward to NOW, and the fight is still going on. The landlords are on the side of inevitability, they raise their rents every year, one way or another they will get their money and eventually, if your apartment is not rent stabilized (a trend that is near DEATH) you will run into rent you can no longer afford. However, Manhattanites with well-paying jobs have never had a problem paying 1800 dollars a month for rent, as far as their concerned it’s a bargain. The bargain used to be the fact that you’re already in the city and the commute is convenient, now the bargain is there is less chance of a bomb in Brooklyn. ANY price to feel safe. I’ve been a Brooklynite all my life and I gotta tell you…the people on the G-train look a hell of a lot different nowadays.  But in the end, where do you go if you’re priced out of your apartment?I left Brooklyn for that reason, if my rent is this high, I might as well pay a mortgage.. Which is why I own a house……

Over 4000 people died, but in reality, America has killed many people with bombs too. There are Indians who were killed establishing the country, slaves who died building this country….slaves who are still buried not far at all from ground zero..do your reading.. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/African_Burial_Ground_National_Monument

I say this to point out that America is not a country of saints and we have a history as bloody as any other country. We forget that this world we live on IS spherical is shape and what we do on its surface WILL come back to us in the eventual. History does not repeat itself in actuality.. But it does have a tendency to rhyme.

September 11,2001..

Pearl harbor before that..

After both of those … who is to say? But in order to avert something terrible, one has to try to find the source and hopefully fix it. it’s a job too big for one man. So unless we all miraculously come together as a nation and change our ways and show the world that America is changing for the better, then we will always be our worst enemy. Together, as humans and as a nation, we can endure most anything and rebuild. Together we could communicate with one another and be the eyes and ears that the police cannot possibly be. Together, we could communicate with the true followers of Islam to avert problems with the more radical followers of Islam. Together, that’s just the tip of the iceberg..

Divided? Well we live that everyday. and so we are unknown to each other and FEAR surrounds us.

I’ve said my piece.

T.F.

Reality is the curse of the unimaginative…

Seems like all I ever do is dream, but since I’m a person that likes to create, I suppose  dreams are  indispensable tools 🙂

What I would like to tell people is that in this world of “reality” it becomes harder and harder to dream. This is me speaking from experience. I can’t stress enough how important it is to be able visualize something and actually believe in it enough to make it a reality.

In life there are so many distractions and detractors. I swear it seem that there are more things in the way of a man now than what there ever were before, but if you’re like me, you don’t like to quit. You don’t like to waste a good thought or a good dream.

Anytime I come up with an idea, it gets written down, because dreams can fade, so you have to catch them and put them on paper. Sometimes, they happened so fast you don’t have time to read what you’re writing, but there is plenty of time for that later. What is important is the dream, grabbing onto it as best you can before it becomes nothing.

If its good and you have it all on paper, then always thank God for allowing you to see this vision, for there are lessons in all dreams. Even the most horrific dream has a lesson to be learned. The great writer Stephen King’s stories are mostly fueled from his nightmares and personal phobias, but he usual has a character in every story who is brave despite the terrible things going on in the story (an important lesson of life)

So thank god for every dream.

Once you have a good dream on paper, it is up to you to make it a reality. It is up to you to shape it. The dream can be a poem, that needs to be fixed for spelling errors or it could be the plans for a statue or building that would be magnificent if people could only see it as you do.

Again…it is up to you to shape the dream… To make it manifest.

These rules go for any day-dream or adventure of the so called “over active imagination.” If your mind opens to something new and exciting for you, then write it down.

Every time.

I thank God for the things I have written, because many times I do not see them coming beforehand. Like many dreams, much of my work just happens.

But once I read many of my words, I come to love myself even more than I normally do 🙂 It is not that no one else could have written these words…it is the fact that I wrote them.

To write something of substance and merit, to build something that helps people, to carve a statue admired by thousands, to paint something that makes people think…..Makes you feel so good that sometimes…you think you’re dreaming.

Always remember, God creates, the dEVIL divides and ultimately destroys.

To the youth of the world, I ask that more of you dream and try to create things of positives as well as things that spur thought. Never forget that it is your god given right to create, it is your power to dream.

The next artistic renaissance need not be the work of just one man or woman.

Students….reread the selection, focusing on the words in bold 🙂

T.F.

P.S.

Yesterday I thought about the different ways I could look at life. The one I liked the most was this one..

What if life is simply a dream? What if the whole “reincarnation” philosophy was real and the thoughts I have, the places I see in my mind, the people, the conversations, all of these were things I have seen in the previous lives I have had. In this way, the soul of a being would be a sort of floating energy that could not be destroyed by any means and upon the death of its physical vessel, it would simply travel to the next one. Not just a conceived human egg, but a dog, a cat, even an insect.

This life, that we lead, what if it is just another stop…Another dream?

Most deaths end with the eyes of the person being closed.(If one has a natural death that is) When the eyes close, perhaps we in fact sleep, for the final time…

When we wake up….Another life.

Now I will get bugged out for a moment so run away if free thinking scares you..

I have been trying to figure out why some babies die horrible deaths..(Credit the newspapers. You know how the newspaper is just chock-FULL of negative news. Well I just happened to be reading about some terrible shit going on in Africa)

I refuse to believe, that if one is a murderer in life, that there is forgiveness in the afterlife…I don’t believe it at all. Since god is a being that takes creation very seriously, for you to destroy it in any way is perhaps unforgivable.

So I thought, “Maybe, the souls of some of the worst people are brought back as certain babies.”

Think about it this way, if a soul , the essence of all you were, were put into a baby’s body and you wanted nothing but love, food, and water, but you were denied these things and instead, were beaten, stabbed, boiled, hacked to pieces, abused in the worst way humanly possible by someone else…a bad person lets say or your parents

If a child had enough of a mind, I guess it would ask “why is this happening to…me?”

Then it would die.

I can think of no worse fate, no better HELL…than to be continuously being brought back….as a child…just to die. To be born….to have light….. Then to have it taken from you in the most senseless of ways……I believe that would be as good as I could make HELL….were I God.

But….before you think of me as some kind of weirdo…(which I am Thank you) Remember, I’m just trying to make sense of certain things using out of the box thinking.

Remember I started this all off thinking about how I could look at life…So I could try to make sense of it all, the things around me and around the world…

But in dreams…..things that make no sense….the senseless…happens daily…So it is in life….

In dreams…the impossible is possible…So it is in life

And if one is of strong conviction…you can make a dream into whatever you want it to be…

So it is in life….

And …maybe…when we lie down and close our eyes for the final time…We wake up anew…With only the vaguest recollection of the life we had…

All that we can remember are bits and pieces…Exactly like a dream….

In this life.

Hmmmmmmmmmmm……

T.F.

When you hit “rock bottom”, What EVER will you do??

You wake up, wash, put your clothes on and go to work. You have lunch at 12 or 1pm then work for the remainder of the day. You come home from your commute, find something to eat, watch tv, fall asleep and in the morning it starts all over again.

Habit is a systematic way of living.
It is ripe for change.
Sometimes this change can be good, but often it’s not. What do you do when your habitual way of life is turned upside down?

Adaptation and life go hand in hand. To nature, adaptability is essential for survival. And therein lies the essential life lesson of today.

Adaptation is nature teaching us that there is no sound or fool-proof plan. We MUST be fluid. T.F.

If you read the newspaper everyday, lots of times it’s the same theme: times are hard.
Don’t get caught up in the propaganda, times have ALWAYS been hard. Sure they may have seemed a little bit easier back in the day, but I assure you that a homeless person who has been living on the streets the last ten years doesn’t see much change in his situation. Situations have and will always be relative to the individual.

But just what do you do when you things fail despite your best laid plans?
What do you do when you have nothing?

I like to think that I do my best work when my back is against the wall and I’m not the only one who feels that way. There are tons of comeback stories in human history. And there is no reason why yours cannot be one of them. The age-old saying “‘necessity is the mother of invention”  are some of the truest words ever written.

Making something from nothing takes adaptation, ingenuity, and imagination.
for instance, you’d have to first mentally adapt to the reality that you’ve lost your job, or your house. Then you must have ingenuity in order to make due despite your have-nots. You have to find a way to feed yourself or your family, and put a roof over your families head. You have to think of  anyone who can help you during your situation. Lastly, imagination truly kicks in when you begin to put all the pieces of your life back together. You have to imagine a plausible scenario that will allow you to live comfortably as you once did. You have to have a vision to strive for or you simply live in an unfortunate moment.

Make no mistake, planning is a GOOD thing, one MUST plan. But understand that a plan is a gamble that may or may not happen. It’s a roll of the dice between you and life. Sometimes you roll a seven and get ahead, other times you lose and life takes something from you.

When you feel that you have hit rock bottom, you must look at that rock as a foundation to build all over again. If you are able-bodied and more importantly, mentally FIT, then you have a greater chance to survive and win most any situation life throws at you.

MAN says “If you fail to plan, then you plan to fail”
LIFE says  “If  you fail to adapt, then you plan to die”

A lot of y’all better learn how to make lemonade out these life lemons.

T.F.