Tag Archives: tehron freeman T.F. women

Women.. women..women.. Part 10 “I don’t care what her FACE looks like..”

I was checking out some old pictures that my mom took of me and seeing myself made me think of how far this funny looking kid has come…mentally and physically..

I used to get picked on a LOT. Maybe its because I was a funny looking kid, or because I had a huge butt that made me look like a duck (big legs led to years of rashes between my thighs)…who knows. But what I do know is that stuff like that happens to all kids who aren’t cute. And those of us kids who aren’t cute have to roll with the punches.

Some of us follow other kids in order to get cool, while others

turn into bullies because they were never accepted. Yet and still, there are others who say “FUCK those other kids, I will just play by myself”

Hello 🙂

Though we survive things, we do not walk away unchanged. Years of people laughing at me, or picking at me for whatever reason gave me low self esteem. It was bad because even though I had confidence in certain

aspects of myself, I wasn’t confident in my looks at all. I was well into my later 20’s and I would not look people in their face when I spoke to them. I would sort of look of past them or walk beside them, this way I wouldn’t have to look at them. This was never a conscious thing, it was simply something I did that worked for my issues of looking people in the eyes.

The singular reason I didn’t look people in the eyes was because I could not shake the feeling that the longer I looked at them, eventually they would laugh at me or see something funny about my face. This stemmed directly from my childhood.

DIRECTLY 🙂

MOMZO..
MOMZO..

My mother was a good support system. She was an independent person, so she said “fuck what everyone else thinks, be you” And I did that. I wore what I wanted to wear and I had a shitty sense of style in high school. But I did NOT care. I wore the same beat up hat while everyone else wore new hats every day; it was so bad that the homeroom class brought me a new hat. I wore “hammer pants” because unlike most of the hood, I thought “Mc Hammer” was fucking cool and I still think he is cool. Fucking guy could dance his ass off and I like dancing!

white women love steve and steve loves white women..

White women love STEVE and steve loves white women..

Anyway…My best friend/brother in high school and adult hood, Steve, would CONSTANTLY badger me about my clothes. Most of the school did, and to this day he will say “I don’t know how he did it, but this nigga just would not care what people thought about him” Now we talking high school, Peer pressure city, and I was IMMUNE.

As far as girls? I had a couple I liked but they weren’t the popular girls because they didn’t look hot….but they were SMART, which is what I LIKED. Steve once again would be the voice of reason. With tears in his eyes he would say “Son! You gotta stop talking to these ugly bitches son. You can do so much better than this shit. Just dress better and you can pull dimes son! Its chicks that look at you all the time, but they look at how you dress and they get turned off. I mean I’m your friend , I’m telling you that you can do better. You got muscles, you could get so much pussy”  (LMAO. Ahhh man, how young men talk to one another….and their motivations 🙂 Women? You’re doomed. I’m trying to help, but I don’t think the dialogue has changed much in high school)

 

Steve meant well but the fact remains that he was guided by pussy like most adolescent males. I WASN’T. I liked women, liked their company and liked kissing. I jerked off enough to not care about sex like that. Plus, I don’t even know where I woulda’ took a girl because I lived with my parents, in an apartment, in a nosy ass building. STEVE lived in a house and lived in the basement which allowed him to take girls downstairs, like some sort of sexual TROLL. One day though, I was at Steve ‘s house and Steve said something that clicked. Now I was comfortable in my own skin, but I never really used the mirror much. Steve always did. And I told him that I had a hard time looking at myself in a mirror. It just made me laugh at myself. Like “who do I think I am? Looking in the mirror is for pretty people. I’m not and I’m okay with that.”

steve mackinSteve was pissed “It ain’t about being pretty NIGGA. Its about confidence. If you can’t look in the mirror and say “I’M DOPE” then something’s wrong with you” {Sidebar: “dope” was slang for “Hot” or Great. Kids don’t use that now. They say “that’s the SHIT” this is what KID’S are sayin..)

Now don’t ask me why that shit clicked but it made me feel pretty stupid about not being able do something simple like looking in a mirror and liking myself. It showed that I had avoided another part of myself. The part of me that wasn’t so happy with himself. So I started looking in the mirror a little bit each day…baby steps….I mean I really wasn’t a fan of mirrors. But I worked my way up to looking at my eyes and my face as a whole, something I avoided like the plague many times before. I came to accept how I looked on the outside…but it was a slow process. And even when I accepted my looks, it took years for me to accept the eyes of other people looking AT me. Hence the “not looking people in the eyes and walking beside them during meetings, or dates with women”….uh..thing. I started looking at people’s mouths, then gradually to their noses and finally their eyes. And to tell you the truth, I started noticing that a LOT of other people have the same esteem issues as I had. Many of them were worse than me. For instance, I never put myself down in conversation. I would never point out what I thought were imperfections on myself…like I would never say “I know my hair probably looks like shit” or “sorry if my shoes aren’t nice enough” I mean I would never do that, but I’ve met a LOT of women and men who do that and its due to them thinking that people are looking at everything that could possibly be wrong with them and imagining that these same people are inwardly judging them as substandard.

These people are literally saying “I know I’m not good enough but I’m trying” Terrible attitude to have on a date, a meeting, hell, even society. My not giving a shit about what others thought helped me avoid that, I just had a hard time with looking at people because I just didn’t think I was much of a looker. But I knew I was a good person and worthy of respect that I had better get or else I’m out. “Ironic that the eyes I avoided for decades into adulthood, reflected souls similar, but not identical to my own”

DONT LOOK AT ME YOU PEDOPHILE!
DONT LOOK AT ME YOU PEDOPHILE!

I have made it my business to let any woman I’m attracted to know that they are beautiful women. Because I believe that they ARE and true to my nature, I want them to not give a shit about anyone who disagrees 🙂 I’m not a guy that is into faces, though I study them. Physically I like my women with some weight, I like certain kinds of stretch marks, I like bellies, not huge ones, but belly is cute. We all can’t be in shape. We all can’t be athletes. I find women with normal body types are grounded. I mean, they have lived with their weight for years so they have an acceptance for the most part, however, many can have self esteem issues with other things…again, no ones perfect, but someone with very low self esteem is just not attractive. If you have to constantly tell someone that “you look fine okay??????” Its just too much after a while. People love confidence, so you gotta find something you love about yourself and then find something else after that…work on the self esteem slowly and surely. Ironically, women that society deems as pretty usually have low self esteem. It comes from constant attention given to them by men and women over their looks, and these women feel that WITHOUT their looks they are substandard. Their looks are what make them special and without them, they are no longer special. I have dated a couple of women who just happen to have been models and they were both very annoying dates. Plus I find that these women are VERY awkward when it comes to initiating conversation because they are used to men speaking to them. So many times these hot women are single and find themselves dealing with exes because they are scared to step out of their comfort zone in trying someone new. They simply don’t know how.

One thing about me, if I ever told you that I thought you were beautiful, and fine, it was the truth. You most likely still are. Yes, what’s pretty to one man may not be to another but the point is this: shouldn’t you AGREE when a man tells you you’re beautiful? Shouldn’t you want to ACCEPT that POSITIVITY, that APPRECIATION of YOU? And even if it’s GAME, cant you see that he thought you were fine enough physically if not mentally to take the time to run game on you?  🙂  HEY, the best lies have truth in em’ AKA “ Make lemonade out THAT lemon I gave you It’s up to you as a woman and even up to certain men to accept positive things about us. None of us are perfect, but to dwell, CONSTANTLY on our imperfections destroys our spirit, to the point where we no longer have ANY spirit at all. When you have no spirit, no self esteem, no love of self, you ALLOW things to happen to you. These things are usually most unfortunate and you will deal with the most unfortunate and shitty people…because you don’t feel as though you deserve ANYTHING.  

LOW SELF ESTEEM Is a terrible thing and can develop into a terrible sickness to your body and spirit, because you no have no confidence in yourself, you wont believe in your importance, your SELF WORTH.

The next time you’re in the bathroom, look at yourself and don’t just see the extra fat, the wrinkles in your face, your tired eyes…look at the positives: you’ve lived THIS long, you have your health hopefully and you can work on your weight, you may have kids that probably love you more than you do yourself and they think you’re beautiful. If you have a man or a friend (gay or hetero) who always tells you how hot you are and how FINE you are, NOT just because he wants some pussy, then enjoy those compliments, be thankful for them. The energy you put forth attracts a lot of things. Predators see weak people. They can see you quite clearly, then there are good people who can see you too. They can see your low spirit, and they gravitate to you, wanting to build you up by letting you know how special you TRULY are. Good and bad, people are put in your life for a reason, and much of it has to do with the inner soul you project outward. If you’re not confident, and you’re not a fighter, if you’ve no spirit, then you’re a fucking victim until you develop spirit and true, not FAKE confidence. You don’t have to be an actual fighter to have confidence, just be willing to fight for yourself. Be an unwilling victim.

The saddest part is, what I’ve seen the MOST, is that women and men with low self esteem, would rather believe those people who only care about what they can TAKE, over those people who want to only GIVE care and love. It’s like the male nerd who chooses the hot woman over the female nerd. The female nerd is true love and understanding, while the hot woman only cares about the nerd’s earning potential. The hot chick is going to fuck the nerd and blow his mind, and he will be in love with this woman and be happy to give him all his money every week. And this same woman will be fucking around on this guy. She will be fucking a guy WITH self esteem and the nerd will get pussy once a month. Why did he nerd pick this woman? Because he NEVER thought and BELIEVED that someone like him, could EVER pull someone as hot as this woman. He struck gold and he will do whatever it takes to keep his gold.  Meanwhile if he chose the nerd chick, they could build together, not just financially but more importantly, spiritually. Both would have had esteem issues (nerds are generally not considered cool by society. It makes nerdy people even nerdier) but they would be comfortable with each other and that helps a ton. It’s like a live-in support system.

Someone who understands you and BIGS you up with HONEST support?

That’s GOLD, man. I don’t care what they LOOK like.

To summarize:

1. Children are cruel little bastards, (oh if I just had a TIME MACHINE and a good leather belt) but they are preparing you for society. And society can be very materialistic, and society will take what you GIVE it. What you give OUT, society will TAKE. I said it twice, yet differently, for a reason.

2. What is GOLD to you? An expensive piece of yellow rock or pride in yourself? Some pride can take you as far in this life as humanly possible due to belief and self worth. It can change your life and those around you who are lacking in self esteem as you were. It can keep you from dealing with people who just want to get what they can take from you and then leave you. Gold can get you money at the pawn shop, which would pay a bill or two,  but with low self esteem, you’re probably gonna wind up spending it on your hot boyfriend or girlfriend, because they are the best you could ever do and you will do anything to keep them.

See you next month

T.F.

Women..women…women…. Part 7..No matter where you go, there you are..

Writers note:This is my seventh entry in a blog series that will end only when I have nothing more to contribute. I don’t know when that will be…I mean I truly don’t…but I intend for it to be truthful…as truthful as I have ever known things to be in my own experiences. Names will be withheld in some case but they will not be replaced. That sort of bullshit screws of my writing flow.}

It don’t matter where you run, yah cant go far…

no matter where you go there yah are..

-Treach “Gangsters Anthem”

 

You can bullshit everyone you meet, but you should NEVER bullshit yourself…. And yet many of us do it on a daily basis… THIS is why we can be so damn STUPID sometimes. Because there are some real mistakes that we have made, mistakes that hold valuable lessons for our spirit and well being, that we refuse to acknowledge. We are embarrassed by them….when we try to revisit these mistakes in our minds, we are hit with a feeling of such SHAME or PAIN, that we bury these mistakes…these LIFE LESSONS that we are LUCKY enough to have walked away from with our health.

I’m certainly no stranger to the process of making yourself stupid..you know “fooling yourself”.. as a perfectionist, any tiny mistake is magnified in my head a hundredfold. I can remember embarrassing moments from my childhood with such clarity that it sometimes scares me. My mistakes are seared in my memory, and they serve as a constant reminder to how STUPID I can be at times. I have been my most stupid in matters of the heart. But that’s nothing new to most, if not all of us. After all, LOVING someone is not far from insanity. Because to love someone allows you to throw caution to the wind. It allows you to not use condoms with someone you haven’t gotten tested, it allows you to feel that their life is more important than your own, it allows you to trust when maybe you should not..love makes you break the rules of self preservation that we are seemingly born with.

Love allows you to risk everything….for someone else.

Yeah that’s about right.

And as I said, most, if not all of us know all about this. And yet, we tend to love foolishly. Giving our love to people who we feel deserve it, but are proven unworthy of it. The truth is, if you’re a LOVING person, you cannot LOVE everybody. Because everybody certainly does not love you. Fact. There are people who will reciprocate the love you give, and yet there are those who will attempt to use that love for their own selfish gains.

However we cannot help but to be WHO we are now can we?Sure , we can TWEAK how we are, and we can even RADICALLY CHANGE, but at our CORE, we still hold true to who we are. But many of us do NOT know who we are…and this is where introspection comes in.

The keenest eye is the one that looks inward”  The old proverb holds true and it will continue to do so forever. Because if all you see, is what is front of you everyday, then I’m sorry, you are seeing MASKS. Every day, people put on masks to blend in, to FIT, to get through another day. There are precious few people who are REAL with themselves and unfortunately, if YOU do not know who you are, you are just as lost as anyone else. The first time I looked at who I was, I was scared. You sit back in a chair, and you close your eyes and think back to times that you made mistakes or times that made you cry, or laugh..you think about every moment that you can because these moments added to the person you are. Even the small moments matter: maybe you farted in your hand one day and smelled it, as stupid as that sounds, it says something about who you are 🙂

Often times, people are scared to look within because they feel that they will be assailed with terrible thoughts, thoughts that make them cringe and even hate themselves. And it takes so LONG to build self esteem, that many times a person will choose to bury a mistake and move from it..just so it won’t make them feel weaker. THAT is the problem. Your actions, even the most minute, help to define who you are. BECAUSE THEY SHOW YOU WHAT YOU ARE CAPABLE OF. What YOU CAN AND WILL DO in certain instances. However can you build TRUE pride and self esteem if you do not acknowledge your actions?

Some of us even convince ourselves that we MEANT for the mistakes we made to happen. This way they weren’t mistakes. Its a way of rationalizing the mistake…or convincing yourself that YOU were in control of a situation, when you werent. Like “suddenly” sleeping with a person you really don’t like, but you do it anyway…because they are there 🙂 Yeah, that’s what you tell yourself.  Reminds me of “Pee-wee herman”… dude would slip and fall, get up, and say “I MEANT to do that”  🙂 If you have REGRETS or feel like shit about some shit you did, then its a mistake to YOU. Bottom line.

I have UNFORTUNATELY seen MANY women with FAKE self esteem. They puff out their chests, talk about how they are so much stronger because of their pasts, and how they don’t need anyone. But in the dark, when no one else is around, they are SCARED, there are parts of their past that they STILL won’t acknowledge…and they DO need SOMEONE. Fighters know, the opponent that talks the most shit is not as good as he says he is. He is simply “amping” himself up, one good punch in the face or body will rock his entire world..his spirit will be TAKEN. All it takes is one good punch. Not to knock him out, but to break him. See what I’m saying? Introspection is SO IMPORTANT to your OWN spirit. To your MIND. Its just incredibly sad that many people won’t do it because the easier path is nonacceptance…or ignorance. But I understand, because what you see in your mind, the person you truly are, can be scary…and yet it is so..liberating in a sense, to know this person. Why do you think that so many gay men feel so GOOD admitting to the world that they are in fact gay? “This is who I am. I accept it even though you cannot. I REVEL in it, even though you will not.” Its something a LOT deeper than “fuck it”.. fuck it is to give up. This is about acceptance which is so much sweeter…especially when you accept the person you are.

If you were to ask me HOW to begin… I would tell you to think about your past and go back as far as you can and RECALL everything, up until this moment in time. It won’t take a day, it may take weeks, since some memories are just so painful and need time to relive and learn from, but it will be worth all the pain in the doing. You do not walk away from true introspection unchanged. There is simply no way, unless you are very young and haven’t had many experiences. You may find out wonderful things about the person you are..and you may find out things that you are ashamed to admit. Those shames are the worst usually, but confront them, and  if you’re like me, you can see them in High definition, watch the shit you did, accept the shit you did and DON’T move on, ADD it to the repertoire of shit you can and will do on occasion. This is how you get rid of the mask you wear on a daily..THIS is how you become REAL with the person who matters most.

We are BLESSED to live THROUGH our mistakes. We are BLESSED to experience EVERY moment we LIVE. How could you sit and act as though these moments never happened? As if those moments are so USELESS. Foolish thinking. I am STILL living and still make new mistakes, but those OLD “mistakes”??? THOSE are no longer mistakes when I do them again. They turn into “shit I will do on occasion.” These things are usually boneheaded moves but hey, that’s what I do at times. Yours could be smoking weed, doing coke, fucking someone without a condom, gambling, stealing..the list of shit to be ashamed of is long as hell, but we all indulge in something..we all have needs and wants that we feel make us weak. If you hate it so much, then why do you keep doing it? Addiction? Or you just LIKE it? You won’t know unless you look at yourself and your actions. For example, some motherfuckers are just lazy and don’t want to do shit with their lives, but talk so much about shit they want to do, but the truth is, they are lazy. They are tired and the truly sad part is that if they just looked within themselves and looked at their years of inaction then they could possibly walk away admitting that they HATE to work, that they would rather have a hand out, that they are simply too lazy a person. WITH that knowledge they could possibly come up with a way to get the money they want without working for it. Instead of talking so much shit to so many people that no one cares what they have to say anymore because its just the same old shit with them. There is RESPECT in admitting that you are who you are. There is a self respect and there is the respect of society because people KNOW where you stand. That’s a great thing in a world of daily masks.

I could say more, and it would probably help to do so, but truthfully I’ve written enough for anyone to understand what needs to be done. I will say this though: Ignore who you are at your own peril. Continue to ACT as though you’re a VICTIM of the “mistakes” you make and one day you may be afraid to continue living.  Simply because you cannot trust yourself to make decisions. You will live in fear of the shit that you are capable of.  In TRUTH, There are VERY few circumstances and situations in life that you do not have a hand in.

Man/Woman UP and accept who you are and the shit you do.
T.F.

Women…women…..women… Part 3 “She hate me”

{Writers note: This is my third entry in a blog series that will end only when I have nothing more to contribute. I don’t know when that will be…I mean I truly don’t…but I intend for it to be truthful…as truthful as I have ever known things to be in my own experiences. Names will be withheld in some case but they will not be replaced. That sort of bullshit screws of my writing flow.}

“Sometimes being a bitch is the only thing a woman has left to hold onto”  Delores Claiborne.

Always loved that line..it spoke to me..don’t ask me why. I love movies 🙂

There’s stages to every breakup and you gotta go through em. If it was a deep relationship, and you guys ended on rather shitty terms, then you both COULD walk away seeing the worst of each other. Sometimes an argument, other times just finding yourself alone noticing how quiet the place is after they’re gone

Now THAT is an AWFUL SOLITUDE.. Man I know about that shit. It comes from allowing people to leave as opposed to standing in front of the door.

But  exactly what do you do?

You’re torn between “not keeping someone who doesn’t want to be kept” and “I love you, please don’t go, we can work this out” You sorta feel that the person should KNOW what they have in you, and if they do and they are still willing to leave YOU then WHY exactly should you fight to keep them?

Why INDEED.   Message right there.

Sometimes you can even like someone so much, that they don’t like YOU anymore.

In my opinion you’re LUCKY if you get the argument, at least you’re angry enough to not care for an hour or two 🙂

Since these blog posts are my personal experiences jotted for all to see…I’m thinking of the women I’ve known or lost and the lessons I’ve learned along the way. Today I find myself thinking about BITCHES…the thing many women turn into after a messy break up. There was a time when I couldn’t understand WHY a woman would be that way…that’s no longer the case.
Let’s go back..

When the subject of bitches is on the table my daughter’s mother comes to mind…I mean she turned into full bitch mode once I broke up with her. For years she spoke nasty toward me (unless she needed some money or dick) and kept me from seeing my daughter any chance she got. In the end, all that “bitch shit” stopped and I even got custody of my daughter….

So what exactly was “bitch mode” for? In this case, it was vengeance.

Even when I would part ways amicably with a woman, I ran into bitch mode.  And when I thought that maybe the one who loved you the most would be the worst bitch later on…I was shown how wrong I was by another woman. So there’s no real rule for bitch mode.

My questions to myself were ” how do you do it?”  I mean unless someone did some terrible shit to you, “how do you hate someone you used to love?”  “How could you be so mean to someone IF you guys parted on cool terms?”

Is your anger over the break up itself or what was lost due to it? Some women I’ve seen hate that they ever loved a particular man in the first place. So when they break up they go full bitch mode.
Some women hate the fact that despite how cool a guy was to them, he just wasn’t that into him and that makes a woman feel like LESS… it really fucks with their self esteem…so she turns into a bitch toward him. Other women still love you, but they hate that you didn’t love them enough to stay despite their craziness…so instead of looking at themselves, they blame you, so you get bitch mode(but these women will still make love to you if you want to. Its actually pretty intense lovemaking as i recall 🙂

Very complicated beings are women. But men can be spiteful as well. VERY spiteful.

But the thing is, its all a stage…and you gotta go through it. But keep in mind that the guy you HATED may turn out to be a better friend than the enemy you made him out to be. And perhaps you two broke up because you didn’t know enough about each other in the first place.

And who knows? Maybe you guys will get back together because you’re both fucked up enough for each other and no one else 🙂 I’ve seen it happen.

Nowadays i no longer question a woman turning to bitch mode. I’ve settled into a reason i believe with all my heart. I believe the MAIN reason a woman turns into a bitch is because they let a man IN,  And it DIDN’T work out for whatever reason. You invest your heart, time and secrets INTO someone else and they seem to TAKE these things with them when they are gone. If I were a woman….and I REALLY think about this a LOT…how do you move on to another man after having shared passion and experiences with someone before?

I mean look, I’m a guy, a man is physically, chemically, designed to be able to have multiple women. But THAT doesn’t mean we don’t FEEL pain and loneliness.
A woman? all they seem to DO is feel emotion, so it has to be 100 times worse…so I just don’t know how y’all do it. Its NOT the same way we do it because a woman can’t just have men inside her and then leaving her. Every man inside of you TAKES something when he leaves.

You can’t get that shit back.

You THINK you can. ..But you CAN’T. Because every man is different, every experience with another man is unique whether its great or shitty.

I thought of these things…and completely understood WHY and HOW a woman can go into bitch mode.
Because women love hard. And if you cut a woman deep enough you  bring the WORST out of her…out of a human being.
Its a pain that no one has an instructional manual for. And a woman doesn’t know how to react , except by going ultra defensive.

Trippy shit.

Sooner or later, you forgive, or you DO move on and find someone else…or the same person from before….

But that bitch is always under the surface..waiting…..it may not be fair to the next man…but its a demon WE (both) gotta come to terms with.

T.F.

Women……Women… Women.. Part 7 “Only YOU can save YOUrself” AKA: “This needs to be said..”

{Writers note:This is my seventh entry in a blog series that will end only when I have nothing more to contribute. I don’t know when that will be…I mean I truly don’t…but I intend for it to be truthful…as truthful as I have ever known things to be in my own experiences. Names will be withheld in some case but they will not be replaced. That sort of bullshit screws of my writing flow. I AM however taking a break after this one, but i will return with the ninth entry}

” All men care about is pussy. They don’t care about how they treat us”

MAYBE some men are life’s way of telling you that it is YOU who should care about yourself 🙂

Men get a bad rap with their penchant for wanting to have sex with numerous women. The reality is, its something we are genetically supposed to do. Men are designed to have an URGE  procreate. In the law of nature, every man should get a woman pregnant every time he has sex with her. BUT as human beings with common sense above nature (sometimes) we use condoms and or “pull out” before we cum.  Women can’t understand a man’s sexual urge, simply because they don’t have a set of balls and a dick. Women have NO IDEA what it feels like when a man is horny, regardless of that fact, women always lament about how men just want sex.

Life is full of ups an downs, ebbs and flows..how we are one day, will not be how we are a week from now. Men change just like women (men just take years, while women change up on you every month!) So take heart women, there will be a point in every mans life where he is ready to chill with a wifey. The problem is that women want this to happen a LOT faster than its biologically possible for a man. In this mans opinion, most men aren’t ready for a relationship until they are in their late 40’s. I’m dead serious. late 40’s isn’t old at all, but it IS old if you’re a woman looking for a family.

There are some decent men out there that are a bit younger but you have to find them…or if the gods are kind, they will find you…but you have to be ready to spot them or receive them. You have to be of the proper mindset.

And a LOT of women just aren’t ready for the man of their dreams.

Let’s say you just dealt with a loser. You guys have history, been with him for a number of years and all but you’re done now. Like most women, you take some time to regroup and heal mentally. You don’t have a taste for sex for a little bit. This is all part of the recovery process from being SAD. That’s OK and more women should admit that fact to themselves. Loser or not, you are sad it ended the way it did or sad that you let it last as long as it did.

So time goes on..let’s say 3 months tops. If you’re a normal woman, you are kinda tired of the sexual hiatus. So you go out on a date and like what you see and hear from a guy…aannnnnnd…
70 percent of women have sex within 3 months of knowing a NEW guy. (And that’s only ONE poll! Others show it to be higher) and yall KNOW that within three months means within 6 weeks  goddammit!!
You spent 3 months healing and LESS than three months before you had sex again.
Now, you COULD say “I waited 3 months”  (haw haw) and I would say “that’s cool. Hope you took the time to learn some thangs about yourself and the last dude” but if a brand new guy can get the ass within 3 months, I don’t think you learned too much.

Or maybe PAIN isn’t what it used to be for women. I mean it CAN’T be any different because women still make people like Steve Harvey and Michael Baisden RICH.

Women STILL want to figure out men.

Allow me to retort women: MEN are SIMPLE. Women should devote MORE time to figuring out their  OWN COMPLEX ASSES! 🙂

And the only way for a woman to do that is to look at herself. Seriously…look at YOURSELF.
Look here, You can go out into this world and fake out EVERY person you come in contact with..but when you’re home and you look in that mirror, you better recognize the real. Because if you can’t..then you are a lost soul. And lost souls get led astray or consumed by stronger ones.
Hope y’all feel me on that.

Are you ready to receive a decent man? I mean are you at the point where you can ADD to HIS life? Or are you some woman who is just going to need help all the time? Everyone needs help sometime, but ALL the time, and with the same problem? No decent man wants to get involved with that. Decent men usually want decent women. An UPGRADE over the women they usually run into. Are you ready to add to a mans life? Or do you need HELP with your own numerous problems?

Are you a woman who says she needs love, respect, attention, care, understanding, passion, security among other things???

Yet you find yourself fucking someone who only gives you two of those things at MOST? Then you aren’t ready for someone decent.

UNLESS you just don’t know any better than the losers or men who have hit it and only call when they want to fuck you…you have no real excuse as a woman to continue to deal with men like that.
Supposedly, when you have had a LOVE just ONE time, its supposed to change you and your outlook for the rest of your life. Because you know its out there, you know what it is, you remember what it felt like and anything LESS is WORTHLESS. But if you simply have no patience..or just need some dick during a dry spell…then who am I to judge you? No one can.
But I seem to recall many women wanting MORE than that little bit of dick ( or chunk of dick..depending on penis size) so are you ready for love? Or are you happy getting dick on occasion and doing you? Because if you complain about finding a good man one minute and the next minute go get fucked, then you need to get off the confusion train and get on the REAL train.

Ladies, its not that MEN will TAKE what they want. ANYONE, man or woman, will take what you are willing to give for free. (Its human nature to like free stuff!)

However many women give up parts of themselves that should be worth so much to them. The reason many women do this is basically because they don’t realize how precious they are. Many women suffer from low self esteem, they just don’t admit it, but their actions show it in every way : Downing themselves, thinking everyone is staring at a a flaw on them, doubting themselves in every little decision,not just important ones…these are TURNOFFS to a decent man. Because just like a woman, a man LOVES CONFIDENCE. A decent man loves a secure lady. You don’t have to be rich or successful, you can be an everyday woman and be a great catch.

I’m going to use this example, mainly because its hard to find a woman without kids nowadays 🙂 AND Ive experience on both sides of the spectrum in this situation:  if you’re a woman with kids who finds a way to make it work even though you have little help, that is IMPRESSIVE. A man looks at that and thinks that this woman is super. It isn’t easy being a mom, but to be a mom and hold down a job or biz of any sort is super duper. It makes a man WANT to help you out any way he can, because you didn’t ask him to.
And if you’re a secure woman, secure within HERSELF.. you won’t look at his help like a handout or pity gesture.
There are many single mothers out there…are you secure within yourself?
Or are you waiting for someone to help you? Your children are YOUR children. Chances are they have a father somewhere. It IS true that you and your baby or babies are a package deal for any man…but he should NEVER have to to feel like he MUST be responsible for your kids… A real decent man will TAKE the responsibility. Willingly.

That’s how my dad was with me 🙂 so I know.

Its not easy being a single woman..LOOKING for companionship, while sex is around every corner… but the problem is LOOKING for it. I may not know everyone on earth but EVERY person i know who LOOKED for love? found themselves with someone they were just putting up with. They just all settled because they just got tired of waiting. The HARDEST thing to understand and accept about good things are that they come from no where. Sometimes you put yourself in a situation to get good things but that isn’t a guarantee of getting anything. If a bad person can be found in church, a supposed sanctuary, then there really isn’t any “good place” to find a good man or woman.

Which means its just luck and being at the right place.

OR you can do what i did…dont look at all. fuck it. work on yourself. And one day a person comes along who feels that you’re worth the headache 🙂 Ive had good women and i just turned them down…but the fact remains they are good women and they are out there. So are good men. But how are you going to keep the Right man when you aren’t Right within? And also, if you’re a god fearing church going woman, then I’m sure you know and believe that “God helps those who help themselves”.. even GOD himself WANTS you to help YOUrself, so exactly what in the HELL are you looking for a MAN to help you with?? 

Come on now!

I believe that the reason i attracted decent women is because i made no apologies for who i was, but i was the FIRST person to admit i have faults and i KNEW my faults. Some things i was willing to change, while other things it just didn’t feel like changing 🙂 but that’s ME and that’s who i am. Decent people are attracted to honesty, because its the character of a decent person. I CAN say “I’M SORRY” and mean it. Because there are parts of me that aren’t perfect and can hurt people who don’t deserve it. However you DON’T want to keep having to apologize. You gotta either FIX that shit about you or stay away from people you will end up hurting. (FUCKING MESSAGE!!!)

In the end, it all boils down to looking in the goddamned mirror. Not an actual mirror, but  turning your minds eye inward to look at your own mind and maybe even cry a bit…touching your soul. Its okay. Chances are that you need this..in order to endure and be closer to happiness, you have to do it at some point and when you do, you wont worry about someone else completing you, because you will be fine with yourself….and when you are TRULY fine with yourself…and i mean TRULY and not ACTING…someone will find you.

Maybe its the radiance an enlightened person has..

Maybe its the fact that you no longer care and are happy within yourself..

Or maybe its that life rule that says “What you try to grab the most, slips through your fingers”.

But what i say works, as long as you are true to yourself. Get RIGHT with who you are…don’t worry about no one else…get right with who you are and don’t stop until you are happy with who you are. YOU are TOO important to fail yourself.

T.F.

Women of the world, you have my undying love. I mean that. To my Mom, thank you for dreaming of me giving birth to me. I’m here woman 🙂 Thank you DAD!!

T.F.